December 2011
17 posts
I model for 10 years and never made it as a model
Stupid me….
And now when i officially quit (did I, really)
That’s driving me crazy In a way
I think that I can still do smth..
The problem always was….either boyfriends of my usual ” I just don’t feel like this” attitude
Don feel look good, prefer to look like a bum, not washing my hair and wear shi...
Silvia Plath story….
I kind of threw everything away out of the train window as well….
Or I wanted to do that
And just left unattended
It’s not actually that so thats makes me feel stupid
And missing things…
Here’re
Why…
I wanted to buy red paint
And draw Japanese flag…
Instead I bought p,um wine
What for…
Can’t sleep anyway and...
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
yesoooooooooooooooooright desicion
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii mean you are stupid…and you just trying to fall out of your window
but what is there…………..
did u think about you mum????????//
think
MUM
think it over
and then……………….if u falll on motorbyke, delivering pizzas what your mum gonna think of u
oh dreams
some sort of drug you take and you are lost for years..you dont know where you are..and who you are..and then…someone found you you when you are already relatively old..and then you remembered after what they ve told you….
airplanes and big field of rare plants, mosttly green salads and herbs..beautiful forests
red
wine and japanese fermented beans ….so dont go together….
”gonna take my hips to the man who cares…” so, i did..and then what..
i wonder what is the difference to live with someone who loves you or someone who cares about you and who loves you…and someone who need you just for prestige but will give you everything..or someone who quietly loves you not to show...
sometimes it works
you just have to find the way
I like to write when i m drunk….cause i dont write any other way…
messy messy drunk
i will say’i love you’……..cause i have nothing else to say
and its cuts of the conversation
oh, i m so selfish……
ahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
LOVE
would you stand on stand by…””
just making mo mess..and i dont get a phone cal saying”i m leaving, dja ne..’and no more tears left….
listening to shed 7… and then what……old old nothing new….i will colour my hair again..more vivid orange…just have to get out the house….drunk taking…thats all i do…or otherwise i...
mess
no more clean glasses..it washes of by itself with the next drink…with a third drink you dont feel the taste of the first anymore….and ice kindly stays at the bttom of the glass to wash away the oil of wine….I cook food that i cannot taste…meat makes it ugly…my vegetables are lost in a meat dish….its all grey colour…or dark brown or just brown….or...